Don’t Be So Quick To (walk away): Unfuck My Fitness
Gonna rock your body (please stay.) Word to Justin Timberlake and the most slept on album of whatever year that album came out. I actually preferred Justified to OddFutureSexySounds or whatever that last album was called. Also, I’m not sure why he got engaged to Jessica Biel when he should be engaged to a damn music studio. I’ve had enough of this acting foolishness. WHERE IS MY DAMN ALBUM, JUSTIN!?
But that’s not the point of this tumbl. The point is, Groupon had a sale on Rockin’ Body by Shaun T. Despite the corny ass name, I noticed that it was down from $60 to $20. I’ve half tried Insanity and P90X but I’m sorry, I’m not a robot built in the Soviet Union trained to kill Rocky Balboa or whatever Rocky IV was about. I hate working out. I always have. Even when I was in the throes of hypomania back before I was diagnosed with anything, I took 4 hours of dance classes at Broadway Dance. FOUR HOURS A DAY! But if you put me on a treadmill, I’m looking at you like, ‘The fuck is this shit?” I hate working out. So anyway, I amazoned (yes.) Rockin’ Body and it got great reviews. I thought it was after Insanity and all that but apparently it is pre-Insanity and post-Hip Hop Abs. (Aside: Shaun “What’s” T? How yew doin?) I was really impressed with the videos that I saw but my problem is my lack of sticktoitiveness (yes.) but my big jeans (28) are starting to feel like my sexy, stiletto watch my booty wurk jeans. Not T. Not Sexy. FOR ME. I’m not talking about you. I don’t know you. BUT FOR ME. My bone structure and size and belly and how I feel comfortable, I’m about a size or two bigger than I’m comfortable. I don’t like it. I like the clothes in my closet, I want to wear them. I don’t want to size up. That’s just me. (Me. Mine. Myself. Me.) I want to look in the mirror and think, “that’s a bad chick.” as opposed to looking in the mirror and thinking, “oh. That’s bad, chick.” I miss my body. I can’t do anything about this belly without surgery but the arms and legs and behind are all up to me. I want my body back. I will have my body back.
Why am I telling you people this? Because my DVDs came today and I’m going to need to shame myself into doing the work. I’m going to unfuck my fitness!
