ramblingsofanurbanjawn:

Hmmmm……I remember this post VERY clearly. What I remember most though, is the post being expressly anti-female. That was my issue with it (and I can’t speak for Bassey, but it seemed to be her issue as well). There is nothing wrong (in my opinion) with being one of the guys. With being a tomboy. With being close with men. I am all those things. 

My problem with the original post was that it was (& correct me if I’m wrong) about being friends with guys over girls because all girls are catty bitches who do XYZ. I take issue with blanket statements about women. I take issue because I am a woman with a large circle of female friends whom I love and cherish. (So saying all girls are catty bitches who do XYZ is a direct insult.)

I also have dudes in my life with whom I am very close.

But at the end of the day, it’s not even about “taking issue” with those kinds of statements, it’s about feeling sorry for women who legitimately have to live that life. 

mokhaxpresso:

For as long as I can remember I haven’t had very many “girl” friends. I was always more comfortable around the boys. I’d play football in the field and hang around the basketball court, because I could shoot better than I could jump double dutch. My circle of women has always been small. I…

That was precisely my issue. If it is absolutely true that you only get along with the men because where you are, the women who surround you are not compatible with your lifestyle, that’s fine. Good for you. Get money. The problem lies in making blanket statements about all women everywhere based on thinly veiled internalized misogyny. I can’t get along with all women. I can’t get along with all men. That’s just life. But were I to take negative experiences that I’ve had with a few women and conflate those issues to include all women, then I have the problem now. I am the problem now. 

Women/Girls who make the “I only get along with men” statements are usually saying it in the declarative. As though, they have, as you said, become “more evolved” when that’s simply not the case. Anymore than if a black person said, “I only get along with white people.” you would take that black person to task. And rightfully so. 

Whom you choose to hang out with and spend time with is a personal choice. Taking that choice and turning it into a fact about the group you don’t spend time with is problematic. Taking that choice as fact and then taking pride in it is also problematic.

The bottom line is nobody cares who you hang out with or why. Just be honest about it. Just be real about it. Just be aware that you’ve made a choice for yourself because of you not because of how “women be”. 

I be comma splicin’ sentences like it’s my job! Respect.